


Neighbors

by hideeho



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Mentions of alcoholism, Mentions of neglect, rbficexchange
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4693091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hideeho/pseuds/hideeho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Bellamy Blake is Raven's neighbor on the Ark. </p><p>From first meeting through part of season 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [akzseinga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akzseinga/gifts).



> A treat for akzseinga. Prompt 1: Bellamy/Raven au, in which Bellamy and Raven are friends on the Ark and she somehow learns about Octavia, then proceeds to help Bellamy with protecting her. (Perhaps thanks to that, the Ark never learns about O, and Aurora doesn’t die?)
> 
> I know this goes a bit beyond what you asked for, but I hope you enjoy! Any mistakes are my own.

Raven Reyes crashed into his life in a onslaught of sharp edges and biting glares. 

She was a tiny thing; couldn’t take much more than a strong puff of breath to blow her over. Her skin seemed stretched across her bones, so fragile he could snap her in half with one hand. Yet she stood as if she was a giant, daring him to say something. He could still feel the sting of where her elbow tried to pierce his side. 

“Walk much?”

“You ran into me,” he snaps, not about to be told off by some punk kid who ran into him. 

“Whatever,” she mumbles, pushing past him with a surprising amount of strength for someone so small. She was inside her apartment before he could utter a smart reply and good riddance. He didn’t have time to deal with rude neighbors who couldn’t bother to watch where they were going. 

It’s funny, he had lived next door to her since her mother had brought her home six years ago, but that was probably the first time they had ever spoken. There wasn’t much use in playing nice and social when you had a sister hidden underneath the floor. The Reyes girl was nothing more than another face in a crowd of faces; an old scapegoat when Octavia’s muffled cries were heard by others in the general vicinity. A toddler’s cries were hardly the same as an infant’s, but people didn’t ask too many questions about the mumbled sounds that filtered through the vents when given a plausible explanation. 

How many times had he passed her in the halls over the years unaware? It was impossible to know, but ever since she crashed into him he couldn’t help but see her everywhere. 

It wasn’t like he was trying to seek her out. She was just there. All the time, apparently. What did he care about someone who just happened to live next door? She wasn’t his problem. He had enough to worry about already. 

So what if she was always alone? Made sense considering how defensively she carried herself, always on guard with her hands curled around her stomach. She made a point to sit alone. Surrounded herself with books, constantly taking notes about who knows what. What six year old had that much work to do? 

Not his problem. 

So what if it always seemed like she was going to topple over? Unsteady on her feet when she stood up too quickly. Bracing herself against the wall as she hurried down hall, looking as if she was willing herself to take one more step. 

Still not his problem. 

So what if she eyed food like it was the last tank of oxygen in this entire ship? She had her rations the same as everyone else. Sure, it looked like she hadn’t seen a proper meal in her entire life, but that was her mother’s problem. Or a medic. Or some adult that wasn’t him. 

What was he supposed to do? His family’s rations were already stretched one person too far. There wasn’t food to spare and even if there was she wasn’t his responsibility. Her mother could get her to eat. If her mother was ever around. And it wasn’t that he had been watching out for older woman or anything, but the only time she ever seemed to be around was when rations were being passed out. Fine, Reyes didn’t have the most attentive mother, but someone else could look out for her. There had to be a friend or distant relative. Maybe one of her teachers. He couldn’t have been the only one to notice, right? 

Not. His. Problem. 

Bellamy was more than happy to mind his own business and ignore the way she stole remnants of forgotten food other people had left behind. Or the way she scoured the top of trashcans looking for something to take away. He could even ignore the way she picked up a half eaten apple from off the floor and hold it like it was the most precious thing she had ever--

Whatever, he didn’t even like turkey that much. 

“Here.”

“What is that?” She was looking up at him with big brown eyes filled with suspicion; as if he was holding a bomb and not half of a sandwich. 

“Food. I’m not hungry and you look like you could use it so there you go.”

“I don’t need your charity.” Which he would have believed a lot more if she hadn’t yanked the sandwich out of his hand. And why was she looking at him as if he was the bad guy?

“It’s not charity, it’s a gift. I was trying to be nice.”

“Right. Everything comes with a price, so thanks for the sandwich but I’m not interested.” 

“I wasn’t trying--” He could feel his face flush with what might be embarrassment. He had been expecting a thank you, but instead he received nothing but resentment. This is what he got for trying to do something nice. “Fine then, give me back the sandwich.”

“No.”

“No?” 

“You said it was a gift. I’m keeping it.” As she stormed off she wasn’t sure if that had been a test or her simply being smart by making a point and keeping the prize. All he knew was that was the last time he tried to do something nice.

* * *

She ate the sandwich over the course of an hour in the safety of her own room. She learned her lesson long ago about eating too quickly and she wanted to savor the feeling of a stomach that wasn’t cramped with hunger. 

The last time someone had given her food was when Nygel gave her a cookie and asked for a favor less than a week later. Everyone expects something in return, little bird. Fair is fair. 

She didn’t know what Bellamy’s angle was, but she couldn’t risk anyone finding out about her mother taking her rations. She had been so careful not to get noticed. Maybe her mother wasn’t the best on the ark, but a lifetime of hunger had taught her that something was better than nothing and she couldn’t lose the only family she had. 

Her mother wasn’t a bad woman. She was sick. Sick because she was sad. Her mother used to tell her stories of when she was happy. Of a time when there was a boy she loved with every cell of her being. The boy used to make moonshine for the people, but one day he was caught and sent to dance with the stars. (She knows now what that really means.) Her mother lost her smile when she lost her love. She began drinking moonshine because it tasted like him. Moonshine made her happy for a bit, but soon she began needing more and more. 

There was a hole in her life she thought a child could fill, but no matter how hard Raven tried she wasn’t enough. There was a time when her mother cared for her. She couldn’t have survived infancy if she hadn’t, but Raven learned early on that love wasn’t always enough. 

Her mother stopped drinking more times than Raven could count, apologized enough it could have been a lullaby, but every time she faltered the shame was a little worse until she stopped trying at all. It made Raven stronger. Made her realize she could take care of herself. 

So she skimmed off as much as her rations as she could without her mother noticing. Hid the precious fuel in spaces hidden under the floors and in walls. Learned to hide whatever she could gather so her mother couldn’t take that as well. She filled herself with knowledge when the rest of her ran empty. On the worst nights she couldn’t hold thoughts, but she kept going. Kept pushing herself to be something that would finally be enough. Something that would finally make her mother happy. 

She was doing fine, but then a boy handed her half of a sandwich and it felt like all of her hard work was unraveling. 

Raven wasn’t spying on him. She was observing him from a distance. Trying to figure out what he knew and what he wanted. He didn’t really do much. Spent most of his time in his living unit. Never really talked to kids his own age. Kept his head down. He looked lonely. She knew about being lonely. 

“What do you have that I can fix,” she asks bluntly, moving to sit across from him and stealing one of his grapes. It’s a risky move. He’s probably about four years older than her and at least a foot taller, but from what she has seen from him he’s too calculated to smack her hand away in public. 

“What are you even talking about? And stop that, they’re mine.”

“I’m good at fixing things. We both know how long it take maintenance to get to household things, so I’m suggesting a trade.”

“I’ll pass.”

Oh, she hadn’t expected that. She tries not to look disappointed as she considers her next move. Something about her expression must get to him because his own face is softening as he slides over another grape. 

“How are you with clocks?”

* * *  
He has no idea why he agrees. 

He doesn’t actually expect her to fix anything, but it’s already broken so what’s the harm? Turns out she wasn’t kidding. He can’t give her much more than scraps in return, but she takes them in her hands like they’re an anointed offering. 

They start talking even though they have nothing to talk about. He finds out that she’ll be seven in two months and speaks like she's thirty. She wants to be a zero-g mechanic. She’s actually pretty funny and harder to remove than rust from under the cooling unit. Somehow she is always around as soon as he steps out from his living unit; following him around like he’s her best friend. 

He finds himself dragging out his walks back home after class, amused by anecdotes about correcting her teachers. He tries to ignore the pangs of guilt at leaving Octavia alone for longer, but finds comfort in amusing her with Raven’s stories. 

When he runs out of things for her to fix he breaks a few things, but it isn’t long before she calls him out on it and offers to help him with his homework instead. He’d be embarrassed by the fact someone four years younger is better at math and science than him, but he’s too busy being impressed. Besides, he helps her literature and history and it all balances out in the end. 

Months turned into years and somehow he's twelve and his best friend is an eight-year-old. Probably his only friend outside of Octavia. If anyone finds it strange given their age difference they’re not around to say anything. Besides, she’s just as mature as he is. She’d probably claim more so. It was nice to have someone to talk to. 

“ _Reyes_ , open up! I can’t stay long today.” He bangs on the door twice more, staring at it in confusion when it doesn’t open. They’ve studied at her place at the same time for over a year. If she had plans she would have told him. He goes to knock again when the door opens, Raven stepping forward to block his entry. 

He knows her well enough to know that she looks shaken, her eyes flittering around and refusing to meet his gaze. “Something came up. We need to use your place today,” she says hurriedly, placing her hand on his chest to push him back a step. 

“No,” he responds, a bit more sharply than he had intended. They study at her’s. It’s a given. There would be no way to warn Octavia beforehand. There’s not an inspection for another two weeks. “We can go somewhere else.”

“We’re right here, Bellamy. I don’t care if it’s messy, let’s just go to yours.”

“We can do this another time. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You have a test tomorrow. Stop being an idiot and let me into your place.” She’s looking at him like he has two heads and he knows he has no good excuse that he can give her to refuse her entry. He already knows it’s weird that they’ve been friends this long and he has never asked her inside. With her mom always being gone it was the perfect excuse to use her place. Now he was out of options. 

Bellamy steps back towards his door, willing himself to look normal as he knocks on his door sharply to try and give Octavia some warning. He fumbles with his keycard, despising Raven’s observant gaze. 

“Did you just knock on your own door?”

“My mom might be back early and she’s not expecting me for another hour,” he answers defensively, avoiding her gaze. “You going to tell me why we can’t use your place today?” _Buy more time. Just a little more time._

“No. You going to tell me why you’re stalling?” 

“I’m not stalling.” He chooses to ignore the way she rolls her eyes at his comment. Bellamy opens the door and swallows his sigh of relief that Octavia has managed to hide herself. 

Every second that passes only acts to add to his anxiety. He knows she can sense it, but refuses to acknowledge its presence. Did she just spot that hair tie? His mother had long hair. Perfectly explainable. Did she notice three plates in the sink when she went to get water? Maybe they were just slow to do the dishes. Raven was smart, but there was no way she could know something was up. They had been fooling guards for years. 

When the clock strike six he nearly jumps to his feet, eager to push her out the door. “Well, thanks for your help. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.” She looks hesitant to leave, her expression tightening as she gazes at the door. For a moment he feels guilty for kicking her out when something was clearly going on at her place, but Octavia had to come first. But she’s his friend and if something is going on… “Raven, are you okay to go--”

“Home? Yeah, I live there,” she says nonchalantly, a little too casual to be real. “It’s not like it’s a long walk.” A part of him screams to push further, but if she says she’s fine then she’s fine. She lingers at the door for a moment too long, looking over at the coffee table with a funny look on her face. “Nice drawing, Blake. You should hang it up on the fridge.” With that she leaves, the door slamming shut behind her. 

The drawing is Octavia’s. A purple family of three smiling and holding hands. 

She can’t know anything. 

* * *

She knows something is going on. 

She could have spent her time with Bellamy thinking about her mother passed out on the floor and the piles of vomit waiting for her, but instead she directs her attention to figuring out why Bellamy was acting as if she had his feet over a burning fire the whole time she was there. The entire time he was distracted, staring everywhere but at the floor. Why not the floor? 

And that picture. It was clearly done by a very young child and that wasn’t the weird part. The drawing was of a family of three, but it wasn’t a mother, father and child. No, it was a mother and a boy and a girl, but siblings were only real in books and old movies. She knew he didn’t have any cousins. She had never seen a young girl come visit them. Hell, she had never seen them have a visitor. 

She had a theory, but it was impossible. Improbable. 

Yet everything suddenly made sense. 

Raven knew all about the secret space that could be utilized under the floors. Had hidden plenty of food there over the years. Why not a person? 

No, they couldn’t. They wouldn’t! 

And yet. 

It would explain why he spent so much time at home alone. Why he never liked staying even a minute late. Why he refused to let her come over. Why when she lay in her bed alone she swore she could hear the noises coming from their place when she knew they weren’t home. 

Bellamy Blake had a sister.


	2. Chapter 2

She doesn’t say anything, instead she sits on the knowledge, dissects it in her head, tosses out theories to the point she convinces herself that she had made the whole thing up. Bellamy for his part seems happy to pretend nothing had ever happened. 

She wants him to be the one to tell her. Wants him to open up instead of being found out. He was supposed to be her best friend, but friends weren’t the same as family and she was forcing herself to remember the distinction. 

Sure, maybe she found herself getting irrationally angry with him more often, but he was smart enough not to call her out. Which only worked to piss her off more. Maybe it was a bit hypocritical, there was plenty of stuff she had kept from him, but that wasn’t the point. She could _help_ them. If they got caught---

Well, they couldn’t get caught. 

“What do you know about soundproofing?” Sinclair looks up at her in mild amusement, used to her bothering him for odd projects. He has been trying to steer her towards engineering for months, but she wasn’t having it. She wanted to fix things and he was happy to feed her interests. Probably thought he could convert in her in the end. Poor fool. 

Finding the materials was the hard part, but she has skills she can trade. Figuring out a way to install them in the Blakes’ living quarters was another matter entirely. 

“They’ll make your unit run more efficiently.”

“I don’t know if that’s really nece--”

“I was in your place one hour and I spotted the problem. It will take me twenty minutes tops to put them in. You really want to trust some random mechanic to do the job?” 

“Look, that’s nice of you to offer, but I can put them in myself,” Bellamy says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as he examines her contraption. It wasn’t much to look at, but if she could install them next to the vents they’d absorb any noise before it could get to other units. Not that he needed to know that. She really wanted to expand and improve whatever hole they had her living in, but he’d have to _come out with it_ first. 

“No, you can’t. I worked too hard to have your giant hands messing up all my hard work. It doesn’t have to be now. Just tell me when. Take your time hiding your shrine to me or whatever you’re so embarrassed about.”

“Ha. Ha.” He shoots her that look oh-so-familiar look of annoyed amusement and she knows she has won. She was going to help them whether they wanted it or not. 

* * *

“Remember what I told you, O?”

“I am not afraid.” Big blue eyes stare up at him and he knows she’s trying her hardest to put on a brave face. It breaks his heart a little more every time to know it’s always going to be this way. 

“They’ll be out of here soon,” he promises, kissing the top of Octavia’s head before lowering the trap door behind her. His eyes scan the room for anything he might have missed. Everything looks in order; now it’s up to Octavia to stay as quiet as she can. He knows she knows what to do, but he can’t help the sense of dread that creeps up his spine every time someone comes over. 

The knock on the door shortly follows and he puts on his best impression of a bored teen. _Never let them suspect._

“Maintenance check. Are these still the things that need fixed?” 

Bellamy looks at the tablet in the other man’s hands, smirking to himself as he scans down the list. “No, actually. It’s all been fixed.”

The man looks in confusion, staring down at the items he had been called to inspect. “All of them?”

“Raven Reyes is my neighbor,” he explains with a grin, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Of course she is,” laughs the man, putting his tablet away. “That one is trying to put me out of work. Should have known as soon as I saw those,” he said almost fondly, pointing up to the panels in the corners of the room. “Most units don’t have soundproofing.”

“Those aren’t for--”

“Hey, I’m not one to judge. I was young and rowdy once. Let us know if anything else breaks.” The man let himself out as quickly as he came, but Bellamy hardly notices. 

Why would she install soundproofing unless--

She knew. 

No. No, it wasn’t possible. No one knew. They had been careful. Because if she knew then that meant he had put Octavia’s and his mother’s lives in jeopardy. If she knew then he had failed them. The mechanic was wrong. He didn’t know what he was talking about. She couldn’t know. 

“Bellamy, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, O,” he says quickly, moving over to help her out of her hiding place. “Just thinking is all. You know how dangerous that is.” 

Over the next few days all he can do is think. Did she really know? Why didn’t she say something? Was she waiting for him to say something? He should just ignore it. Pretend nothing has changed. He didn’t even know if something really had changed. He had been spending too much time with her anyways. He needed to cut things off. She’d find a new friend. A friend that wasn’t hiding a human being under the floors. He had been fine before she came along, he’d be fine again.

“What did you and Raven get up to today?”

“Nothing. I wasn’t feeling up to studying.”

“That’s four days in a row. Did you two get into a fight?” His mother’s face is creased with concern as she sits down next to him, brushing the hair out of his eyes. He wanted to tell her, knew he needed to, but it never felt like the right time. “Bellamy?”

“I think she knows,” he says softly, looking over to the sleeping form of the sister he was supposed to protect at all costs. 

“Knows?” Bellamy thinks he might be sick as realisation dawns on his mother’s face. There is the horror he was expecting, the anger, the fear. “ _How_?”

His mother’s grip is tight on his arm, but he doesn’t move to pull away. “I don’t know. I don’t know! But she does. I think she does. She knows something.” His mother is up and pacing before he can finish talking and he can feel sweat dampen his palms as a blanket of regret wraps around him. 

“Do you know what this means? You _know_ what will happen if she tells someone!” His mother was tight with panic, her voice an octave higher than he’s ever heard it, but as soon as she speaks the truth hits him like a slap to the face. 

“She won’t.”

“You don’t _know_ that, Bellamy. All it would take is one fight. One stupid disagreement and it will be all over.”

“She won’t.” 

“Bellamy, baby, I know she’s your friend, but people change. People use information against other people. What would it take to keep her quiet? What would she want?”

 _Family_ , he thinks, but it’s a betrayal he can’t voice aloud. It was one thing to manipulate the guards, but he can’t twist their friendship into a means to keep her in line. He’d do anything for his family, but the idea of doing that---

“She wants to help.”

“Oh, Bellamy. I wish that was the world we live in. I really do.” His mother looks older, suddenly. Like she has aged ten years in a matter of minutes. 

“You’ve heard the rumors about her mom,” he says slowly, the words churning like acid in his throat. “I know things. Things that could get her floated if Raven threatened to tell.” Anything for his family, right? So why did he feel like such shit? 

“Does Raven care enough about her to make that work?”

“Yeah, she does. Goes berserk whenever someone tries to talk about her.” His mother is still tense, but she sits back down beside him, grabbing his hands in her own. For a moment they sit there in silence, only moving when they hear movement from across the room. 

“Does that mean I can finally meet her? I mean, if she already knows about me.” 

* * *

“Oh, so you do still exist.” He steps forward, pushing her back inside her living unit, closing the door behind him. 

“You installed soundproofing in our living unit.” Just like that the smile slips from her face. For every step she takes backwards he takes one forwards, intent on invading her space until she refuses to move at all. This was _her_ house.

“I did.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“ _Why_?”

“Because I wasn’t about to let your big dumb butt get caught!” His sigh feels the room as he rubs his face with his hand. He looks older than he did four days ago, which makes absolutely no sense but there it was. 

“Come on.”

“What?”

“You want to meet her, don’t you?” Oh. She had been expecting him to yell at her. Maybe to banish her from his life altogether with one final threat to keep her mouth shut. Adrenaline was pumping in her chest, but for a moment all she can feel is relief. 

“You realize if you say anything I’ll kill you, right?” Ah, there it was. 

“You’d try,” she sasses back, frowning as her poorly timed joke is met with a solemn frown that ages him even further. “You know I wouldn’t, Bellamy,” she says softly, squeezing his hand quickly as she moves towards the door. “Stop insulting me by acting like I would.” She jabs him in the side for good measure and he messes up her hair. For a moment it feels like normal. 

It’s strange walking into his place. She had half convinced herself that she had made the whole thing up, but now that it was real---She wasn’t sure what to think. She jumps a bit when the door latches behind her, as if she’s somehow in trouble. She doesn’t realize she’s tapping her foot against the floor until Bellamy places his hand on the small of her back to calm her. “You can come out now. She’s here.”

Raven holds her breath as a girl only a few years younger than herself enters. She’s pretty. She doesn’t look like Bellamy exactly, but she has his same slim build and mischievous smile. “Um, hi, I’m Raven.” 

And just like that the little girl is sprinting towards her, wrapping her up in a hug as if life depended on it. Raven could only stand there for a moment, surprised by the gesture before finally relaxing into the hold, returning the hug awkwardly. “I’m Octavia, but you can call me O,” she says excitedly, all energy powered by a thousand watt smile. “I’ve waited _so_ long to meet you!” 

She _really_ must be desperate for company. “I’ve really wanted to meet you, too.” From beside her Bellamy smiles. 

* * *

Where Octavia had been deprived of interaction Raven had been deprived of touch. He had never really noticed it before, but with Raven sitting beside Octavia it was easy to see how startled she was by affection. She acted as though no one ever hugged her before and maybe they hadn’t. He finds himself reaching out to her more: wrapping an arm around her as they walked down the hall, hugging her before she left to go home each night, draping his legs across her lap as she worked on equations he couldn’t even begin to decipher. 

Raven responds like a moth to the flame. Curling in next to Octavia as they conspired against him. (They were _always_ conspiring against him.) Linking her arm through his sister’s as if trying to fuse them together. Raven wasn’t the only one changing in front of him. It was strange to see his sister with someone that wasn’t family. How excited she became when Raven walked through the door. They giggled and gossiped and it was everything he wanted for O, but the smart pang of jealousy still hit when he realized they had inside jokes he was not a part of. 

Which one he was jealous of he wasn’t sure. 

“You’re kicking me out of my own home?”

“Yes, we’re having girl time. You should really have a friend your own age,” Raven teases, sticking her tongue out and laughing as O follows suit. He rolls his eyes in faux annoyance, but his grin betrays him. 

For the first time in his life he doesn’t have to rush home. O could hang out with Raven and he could have his own life. It was fun hanging out with people his own age, to have a guy to talk to for once, but now that he didn’t have to be at home he found himself wanting to be.

Whatever lingering fears he had about Raven spilling the beans were erased by the fact that it was as clear as day that the girls loved each other. Which was great until they were ganging up on him. His mother was not as easily pacified. 

There was a clear tension whenever she came home and Raven was smart enough to make herself scarce as soon as she arrived. His mother wasn’t mean to her, but she was wary. She knew the destruction Raven could cause if she had a mind to. 

“She doesn’t hate you, you know. She worries.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bell. I’ve never been popular with mothers.” She says it as a joke, but he can tell by the way she clenches her hands that it’s anything but. 

“Rave---”

“O,” she cuts in, clearly not in the mood for whatever he’s about to say. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“I want to see the stars.” His sister’s voice is soft. She knows she can’t, but that doesn’t stop her from wishing. Sometimes he wishes his sister wasn’t so honest. He shares a look with Raven and wonders why some days he just can’t win. 

“You know what we haven’t read in awhile? Icarus.”

“No,” Raven starts, hands already crossing in front of her chest. 

“It’s a classic.”

“It’s an abomination to science and the laws of physics. Not to mention the _lesson_. It’s teaching people to be complacent and that’s bull. People should reach higher. If they didn’t reach higher we wouldn’t be in space.” And she was off. 

Crisis averted. 

Octavia doesn’t get to see the stars for her birthday, but Raven does make her a projector that lights their ceiling with the constellations. The four of them lay on a blanket and name as many as they can. Octavia keeps laughing and making up names and soon they’re all smiling. Bellamy knows before they turn on the lights that Raven has finally won his mother over. 

“Raven, why don’t you spend the night?” She looks like his mother suggested she chop off her own foot. 

“Oh, I should be getti--”

“You can share a bed with Octavia. It’s settled.” She looks like she’s waiting for the trick, but soon she’s cuddled under the covers with Octavia wrapped around her like a vice. Aurora kisses their foreheads’ goodnight and when she tucks Raven in it looks like the sun itself is lighting up Raven’s smile. 

That night they fall asleep under the stars. 

* * * 

Where Bellamy has too much family she has too little, but together they seem to have found a balance. 

By the time she’s thirteen she’s practically living with the Blakes. Interaction with her mother is so rare she’s not sure who is more startled by it when it does occur. She makes it a point to retreat back to her assigned living quarters every so often; giving them space so she doesn’t overstay her welcome. Sometimes it’s hard to fight that lingering insecurity that they only put up with her because of what she knows, but she’s happy.

Raven knows life isn’t a fairy tale of happily ever afters so she shouldn’t be surprised when reality come crashing down. 

“Mom? Are you home?” 

There is no such thing as a sixth sense, but as she slowly eases her way to the bathroom she knows something is wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time she found her mother in a pool of her own vomit or piss, but she doesn't expect the red stained shattered remains of the mirror to surround her mother nor the dark red streak of blood where her head must have hit the sink on the way down. 

“Mom. Mom, you need to wake up. _Mom_.” She kneels next to her, too scared and unsure to notice the stinging bite of broken glass on her knees. She tries shaking her; gets little more than a pitiful moan in return. Her mom doesn’t wake up, but she’s alive. Raven can work with alive. 

“Mom, _please_. You have to get up.” She brushes the glass aside, tries to get a grip on her mother to pull her out of the tiny space and ignore the sharp smell of moonshine that fills her nose. 

She’s too heavy. 

She needs help.

She needs--

She knocks on his door harder than she intended. She forces herself not to shake as people pass her in the hall. Refuses to look anything but fine. It’s only when he opens the door and lets his gaze drop to her hands that she notices that they’re bleeding. 

“I need your help.” 

He doesn’t ask questions as he follows her into his place. He’s tall now; seems to grow an inch every day to spite her. He picks up her mother as if she weighs nothing and she ignores the look of concern on his face. 

“We need to take her to--”

“No.”

“Raven---”

“No. You can smell her. They’ll know she had more than her rations. They’ll know she did something illegal to get more. They’ll float her, Bellamy. I can’t let them--She’ll be fine.” Raven steels herself, forces down the quiver in her voice. She had these nights before, but this time she wasn’t alone. “We wait.”

He seems to hesitate for a moment before placing her on a bed. They say little as she plucks the pieces of glass from her mother’s body. It’s oddly nice to have the work, to have a reason to make her hands steady. When she’s done he turns his attention on her, plucking glass from her skin with the care of a surgeon. 

He stays awake with her all night. They don’t talk. Don’t risk missing a sign that her mother was waking up. The corner of her forehead is an alarming shade of purple, but still Raven waits. When morning comes she does her best to wash the smell out of her mother’s mouth, but there is only so much she can do without choking her. 

They call for help in the morning. Her details are vague and if they notice the fresh cuts on her hands they don’t say anything. 

“You don’t need to come with me, Bellamy.”

“Of course I’m coming with you.”

“Go be with your family. I need to be with mine.” 

She leaves before he can protest and follows them down to the medical bay. She’s not sure how long she sits in the waiting room before someone finally comes to see her. All she knows is that when the doctor comes in that sixth sense she doesn’t have begins prickling again. 

“Raven, when your mother fell she hit her head rather badly. The injury caused swelling around the brain.”

“What’s the treatment?” Her voice is oddly detached, as if she was asking nothing more than how to jumpstart a generator. 

“Treatment in this case would require an extensive amount of resources. We did a scan and she has abnormal damage to her liver and tests show she had a high blood alcohol level. I’m so sorry, Ms. Reyes, but it has been determined that your mother is not a candidate for treatment.”

She wasn’t being floated, but it was a death sentence all the same. 

“Is there any chance she’ll wake up?”

“No.” 

“If I had brought her in sooner? If I had found her sooner?”

“The result would have been the same.” She had hoped to feel relief, but all she feels is empty. 

“How long?”

“Untreated it could be a week or so, but we have the means to make it quick and painless. It’s nothing more than a shot. She won’t feel it. You should take some time, go get the people who might want to say goodbye and support you. We can set an appointment when you’re ready.”

“Now.”

“Ms. Reyes, I think--”

“When am I going to be ready for my mother die? An hour? A day? Will dragging this out make me more prepared? I’m the only family she has.” She clenches the armrest of her seat until her knuckles are white, but she never wavers. “She’s suffered enough. Get it over with.” 

He looks like he might protest, but there is a resolve in her eyes that he must understand. “I’ll take you to her. Let you say your goodbyes as we get ready.” 

Raven walks silently behind him, entering her mother’s room and taking a seat beside her. She keeps waiting to feel something, but all she can feel is numb. 

A small silly part of her wishes to cry out and beg. _Wake up. Wake up. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone._ But Raven believes in science; she works in facts and equations. There will be no miracles here. They had no special bond to defy logic or reason. She doesn’t even know this woman, really. 

“I hope you can finally be happy,” she says instead, leaning down to place a kiss on her brow. A comforting gesture she learned from Aurora. She loves her. There must have been a time she loved her too. If only that had been enough.

She holds her mother’s hand as they place the shot in her arm. She stays by her side as her breathing slows until the machines light up in a herald of death. 

She thinks she should cry, but there is nothing. 

Bellamy is there when she leaves the medical bay, slumped against the wall until he springs to attention when he spots her. 

“How is she?” He looks like he already knows the answer. 

“Dead.”

She walks past him silently and to her relief he doesn’t offer any condolences; simply walks behind her as she makes her slow march back. She doesn’t invite him inside; doesn’t thank him for waiting. Instead she shuts the door behind her, turns off all the lights and sleeps. 

He knocks on her door a few times a day, but she doesn’t have it in her to answer. Doesn’t know what to stay. 

The third day shut inside is abruptly ended by someone opening the door and for a split second she expects her mother. 

“Sorry to disturb you, little bird, but I was worried. I hope you don’t mind. I had a friend let me in.” Nygel makes herself at home beside her, handing her a clear bottle full of liquid. “It was your mother’s favorite. Thought you could use it.”

“I don’t.”

“Now don’t be like that, little bird. We’re practically family. And because we’re practically family, I’m going to forgive your mother the two days rations she owes me.”

“Bullshit. You always make people pay upfront.” She clenches the bottle so tightly she think it might burst. 

“You were always the smart one. Look, I just wanted to come by to say if you ever need anything I’m here for you. You just come to me and I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”

“You need to leave.”

“Little bird...”

“ _Leave_.” Raven stands abruptly, pulling on Nygel’s arm to get her to the door. She thrusts the bottle towards the other woman, dizzy with the hate that churns inside of her. 

“Alright, alright, I’m going, but remember what I said.” The woman opens the door, revealing Bellamy with his hand raised in the air ready to knock. He looks startled for a moment, eyes finding Raven’s in question. 

“She was just leaving.” Raven leaves the door open; doesn’t invite Bellamy in, but doesn’t ask him to leave either. 

He looks like he wants to say something, but there is nothing to say. They stand there for a bit, but she’s tired, no matter how much she sleeps she’s tired, and all she wants to do is sit down. He settles in quietly beside her, wraps his arm around her and pulls her against him gently. 

“What did she want?”

“Looking for her next customer,” she answers darkly, hands clenched around a bottle that’s no longer there. _Get them when they’re weak._ She wonders if she went to her mother the same way when her lover died. 

“I haven’t seen you the last couple of days.”

“I wanted to be alone.” 

“I know.” His fingers trace patterns on her shoulder, but she can’t make them out. “You should do whatever you need to, but remember you’re not alone. You still have family, Raven. We’re your family. You’re ours.”

His words hit her like a sledgehammer to the heart, breaking down the wall she hadn’t meant to build. A sob tears from her mouth; her body shaking with the force of it. He holds her to him as tightly as he can, his hand cradling her face to his chest. _I’m here, I’m here, I’m here. We love you. We’re not going anywhere._

She cries for the woman she had barely known and for the mother she wished she had been. She cries for herself. She cries just because. She cries until there are no more tears left in her body. When she’s done he carries her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the angst, but the next chapter is happier? 
> 
> Any mistakes are my own.


End file.
